Here is Peter, Here is Jane.

2010-11-10T00:31:00.003+08:00

Has it been that long since I last wrote? My last entry was about my results with UOL!

Last night as I was youtubing "the vampire diaries" I suddenly remembered I have a blog. So here I am, three years later, very much alive and well.

Funny how things have come full circle. All those years and years of talking about finding a place of our own to call home, and here we are very much away and very much separated. I always thought as a couple we were very very lucky, no matter what life has thrown our way, we've managed to work around it and find ourselves in a better place. And I am grateful. Well nothing's changed, we're still finding ourselves a happier place in a different way. All for the better of us.

I'm full from a huge plate of pattaya. I'm feeling a little woozy. I think I'll watch some TV and go to bed.

2010-11-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

these kinda things attract me, gushing over each other, romantic dinner dates, luxurious gifts, slow dancing, love songs, flowers. if those things has never been appealing to you, that's a shame. because i love being immersed in love. i love knowing another person is planning these things and thinking about me while planning them.

i am most definately a romantic.

2010-11-09T01:24:00.003+08:00

Remember this was just a few weeks ago. Look at us now! Oh I am so in love with this photo of us. It just oozes with happiness. I wish I can bottle us up and keep us like this forever. It makes me wonder, how come you never thought of this day when you questioned me "when was the last time we went out happy and not end up fighting?" Your answer to me was never. But all that was swirling around in my head was this picture and was this day.

Today I made a choice secretly. The pain of a broken heart will continue to present itself on and off for the rest of your life. But that's why you need to start healing. It's your own life and you have a choice or not you want to feel indifferent today or enthusiastic tomorrow. There are so many who loves you and they want you to love yourself, again too. I know this sounds really cheesy but I wish I can be there for anyone who feels the way I do. When or if I make it out of this, I will be there to listen to anyone who needs someone to listen to them.

On a lighter note, Harry Potter SO FUCKING SOON!! I need to find someone who would enjoy staying in with me, but it honestly feels like there is NOBODY around me. Maybe i just need to distance myself and try to find new people. It's been awhile since I got that pounding heart feeling.

2007-09-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

it's over. this chapter is finally closed.

for all of you who thought i couldn't make the cut. major fuckeroonies to you.

thank you for believing. i wouldn't have made it without you.

thank you. merci beaucoup.

now i'll just have to decide how am i gonna handle 7 modules in one year. or maybe i should split them up. like three four or four three.

the boy was raving all about coffee club's garlic prawn pasta. and tonight we decide to have it again. home cooked style, my version. oh yes, and i bought cadbury hot chocolate. hot chocolate for chilly nights like this. with whipped cream like starbucks style. while we catch our favourites on cable.

Life just keeps getting better.

2007-08-22T02:08:00.000+08:00

to feed all of you with a little information on what's going on in my life before I shuttle off again to another dimension.

i've been...watching la vie en rose, missing my friends, constantly putting important things on hold, becoming stupid, acting stupid, making fun of people, craving for fries, wanting to bake, falling asleep on phone conversations, having back aches, trying to figure out why my bag is always so heavy, sleeping with the lights on and living for the day.

i'm waiting for my break to be over. but incase you guys are worried, i've been great. i like the work environment at changi airport, but the smell of mackerdonalds and burgerking is making really me sick. nothing else is open at 2am in the morning and i wished my team leader had push me off for break at 4 because that's when mackers start serving breakfast. but for now, i'm stuck with good ol' fillet ol' fish.

i was just in the toilet and a lady beside me, started to pee and she farted damn loud and looong and i thought it's the end of it. but no. more bombing came. it sounded like a watery fart. i was so disgusted i wanted to puke so i ran back to macdonalds to save myself from the torture. i always thought for a lady to fart in public or even in front of their boyfriends was rather offensive. but oh well.

that's possibly the most exciting event for the day. now all of you know how boring my life is right now.

my days are getting increasingly crappy. my results are coming out soon.

if not, it's already out.

2007-08-19T09:48:00.000+08:00

last night, we joined some friends for chocolate buffet at a lounge in fullerton.

we braved the rain and cold, but it was so worth it. my mouth was watering as I looked through the spread.

it was quite cool.

it was DEE-LI-CIOUS, fresh and tasty. prices were reasonable. the wait staff were excellent and helpful. nothing to complain about!

cheryl and nickee were supposed to join us but they decided to opt for more staple food eventually.

it was john and shereen's 6th year anniversary, so we were invited to celebrate the occasion with love's aphrodisiac-chocolate together. 6 years! i swear this two can go get married already, which both of them don't have the intention to. at all.

after the array of chocolate we had, those two love birds made plans to wait for the fireworks display to start.

so we sat by padang and took a million and one peektures, and enjoyed ourselves imparting our knowledge on life and what nots.

30mins of waiting and sam turned and feebly asked "dear, you really wanna watch ar?" and i replied "no, i'm not so romantic". in which he enthusiastically answered "OH DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT THE ROMANTIC SORT TOO!"

anyhoos we left them alone and hopped over to peppermint garden for a drink. john and shereen came over after the display, dustin and hazel came by shortly.

wine and champagne, peektures, lotsa glass clanging toasts, hugs and kisses flew everywhere at peppermint garden.

the night ended with a round of "teochew muay" at joochiat.

not the best in town, but it suited our need for it.

p/s: i am a hopeless romantic lah!

2007-08-14T14:30:00.000+08:00

these last few weeks i’ve been a bit gloomy.

my constant efforts to socialise - to make sure that i don’t suddenly find myself caught in a slump - my night-outs, dinner parties, dates with sam, hanging out with girlfriends, buffets with the august babies, chocolate consumption… have not been as helpful as i had hoped.

ugh. i hate being so hormonal.

the boy has been so completely and utterly wonderful, gentle, wise, patient and loving. the other day, he came home from camp and walked through the door. i was cooking dinner in the kitchen. the moment he caught my eye, he knew i had a bad day.

despite my protest, he dragged me to ecp. we ate dinner. sat in a cafe. sipped hot chocolates. read the magazines. things were so perfect, that i had this sudden urge to cry.

2007-08-04T07:40:00.000+08:00

the past two days i've been sleeping for 2hours

in which one was out of will.

that's bad.

i get up when sam goes to sleep and by the time i intend to go to sleep, he books out in about 2 hours.

anyways, it has been raining for days so i didn't wanna waste money on a "car" wash(btw there is no "car" wash at the kiosk!) and suggested we washed the vespa ourselves.

actually i washed. and he smoked and watched because i was stupid enough to bring down only one cloth.

but it was fun.

after getting up at 6am the today, i've actually decided to head out later and grab a cup of coffee and spend a little bit of time alone. to just absorb the sights and sounds around me.

coincidentally, an old friend from school, texted me an hour ago and told me, she couldnt sleep as well and that we should meet up real soon.

with time to spare, we decided to have breakfast at PS cafe at 9 and do some catching up.

pancakes waffles pancakes waffles pancakes waffles PANCAKES!

2007-07-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

met dear John for his birthday dinner after picking babe up and we explored the little treasure coves hidden in yishun and settled upon taste of thailand, where we had the entire place to ourselves (whee!) and a very friendly and helpful waitress to fulfil our every little request (including babe and dustin's little surprise for the birthday boy). Thank goodness plans were not screwed this time round, and the apple and mango cake was absolutely heavenly. :)

big bake wednesday

2007-07-21T04:59:00.000+08:00

blogging has been inconsistent. but sometimes, when you get home at night, it's just too tiring to sit down and still try to string coherent sentences together. i admire all who am able to do it.

been baking lately. peektures up soon.

fortunate

2007-07-18T02:34:00.000+08:00

today i did something that i have never done with jill and kat.

we had breakfast together. PAID FULL BY JILLENE TAN.

p/s: thank you.

it was truly a new and rare moment to see these two girls early in the morning. especially our dear friend jill, who normally wakes up after 6pm. i'm already accustomed to waking up at 8 every morning. my body clock rings at the same timing everyday. today was no different. woke up lazed around and did a mini breakfast session on my own (first).

jill drove to my favourite dim sum restaurant in toa payoh-featuring old schooled styled dim sum dollies, with push carts dotted amongst the traditional white restaurant tables and piping hot steam coming from the freshly made dim sums. i couldnt resist.

i think three is a good number to have dimsum. because each of us had our favourite dishes and it's nice to try something new and different. there was this 2 fried dishes that tasted awesome lah! we had 2 different congee as well. but the best of all for me was still the good ol' "dan tat" and "har gow". oh yes and "cheong fun".

i ate jill's share of mango prawn. maybe i had very high expectations for it, because it didnt turn out like before. anyhoos.

after that we went to get jill's phone and jill headed home to sleep whilst me and kat whisked to TM to walk around. there was a taiwanese tidbit fair at the atrium, so me and kat decide to get food from there. things were so cheap, we bought too much for us to carry. i even had to get sam to bring some stuff back to his place first because it really was too heavy. and lucky for me, because he was around the area getting a new phone.

so me and kat bought a large cappucino and a mocha frapp so that the crew at starbucks will think less a cheapskate of us. we munched on our new found treasures, and watched the world pass. honestly, after a 3 hour session, the whole table was filled with jelly wrappers, biscuit crumbs, empty seaweed packages and more jelly wrappers. i bought so much jelly at the taiwan tidbit fair. and i love it. although kat claims that it tastes otherwise, i'm still gonna make a trip down on friday to get 10 more packets (hopefully more) of those damn jellies. btw kat, the many mochi that you bought wasnt very nice either!!

there seems to be one million food fairs everywhere, at century square there was this foodfair also selling quite a number of delights. one of which was the curry fishballs the "hiong gong yan" like to eat, headed to sakae. and checked out the USD currency at the money changer.

kat did a manicure after that, on her small ugly nails, please for your own sake, stop cutting them and let them live! i was pretty surprised that it turned out very well, because the colour suit her pretty much. it's a very kat colour.

i left her to meet sam for a round of hokkien mee and chicken wings at my place. sam asked "are you seriously hungry or not?" and i said "why?", pushed my plate away and stayed grouchy for the rest of the night. very petty i know. but i also know jolly well the point he's trying to get at. it may sound very funny over here but i'm really upset and ANNOYED by his words. and major fuckeroonies to that.

i tell you i am gonna make him hold all the jellies and walk around TM like crazy on friday.

i just heard a very loud train horn from outside, at like 3:08AM?!!?! this is very spooky. maybe it's trying to tell me that i should turn the comp off and go hide and shiver under my blankets.

transformers

2007-07-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

i think 150mins passed too fast. everything went passed so fast before my eyes i felt like puking my dinner out.

sam was totally narrating out his own "the boy and his car". this is one of the very few shows that got him so excited. the last time i saw him talking out loud, body leaned forward was at Spiderman 3. like whatever right. metals dont die.

but a good show all in all.

we also went to the wedding of some really good friends of his. and it was definitely the sweetest wedding i’ve been to i mean you could feel the love and the happiness dripping from the walls. everyone was SO happy. and all these people we met were so nice. it was lovely.

i miss meliza tan damn alot.

very random i know.

pucca

2007-07-06T02:17:00.000+08:00

these are knnabehfuckingcb good.

its that good.

2007-07-01T09:17:00.000+08:00

well the weekend's here and the initial excitement has fizzled into dreadfulness of an impending boring week ahead.

been catching up with some of my pals during the last few weeks. Its always interesting to see how years have caught up with us though memories shared still seem so near.

every friendship has a certain degree of affinity and affection, sometimes this relies on a shared experience, a common interest or a comparable chapter of life

however there are moments when i feel all alone, and to find a confidant is like looking for a needle in a meadow.

the thought of finding someone for comfort and understanding has already tire me, let alone the entire process of arranging to meet and telling my sob story to another.. placing a bet on whether they could embrace your woes and restore your strength.

nevertheless when i push myself to do that, i never fail to be re-energised. Besides feeling supported, i would feel a greater sense of self-worth when i get to contribute to their lives too.

conclusion: As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another - Proverbs. 27:17. =)

i really don't know if this particular friend was referring to me but while i begin to continually worry about the things that make us cold...

i don't think a bbq should even be the basis of our friendship.

cheryl wasn't even informed of it either. does that make her less a friend? and the reason why i didnt call her is the same reason why you werent called. BECAUSE i don't want you to feel out of place.

(M. true friends aren't friends that hover around you all the time. they are the people that always make time for you regardless when the others are busy with work or caught up with something else.)

would love to elaborate but judging from how you've already said your piece, need i say more? even complications simplify through time, besides, we already went through this the other time.

p/s: but well, procrastination is a bitch.

my love

2007-06-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

Yeah, because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand
I can see us on the countryside
Sitting on the grass, laying side by side
You could be my baby, let me make you my lady
Girl, you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothing crazy
See, all I want you to do is be my love
(So don't give away) My love
(So don't give away) My love
(So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love
(So don't give away) My love
(So don't give away) My love
(So don't give away) Ain't another woman that can take your spot, my love

Ooooh, girl
My love
My love

Justin Timberlake ft T.I- My Love

2007-06-02T14:12:00.000+08:00

finally met up with jill, and kenneth "for phuture and phun" on wednesday night. the queue outside zouk was crazy. on a merrier note, i caught Shrek3 on the very same night. a pretty enjoyable movie. because of the great company and like she said. we were dating.

met up with sam for a little while for supper (wanton mee soup only) last night. the usual fornightly chinwag consisting of exchanges of hackneyed jokes and really bitchy stories. i believe the one true reason to surface upon the initiation of a break up is that which is given when neither party has met someone new. in all other circumstances, as long as one or both has met someone new, every reason given is just an excuse for something new and someone different. so major fuckeroonies to that. you know who you are.

NS has robbed me of another supper-chum and a boyfriend. once every week just isnt good enough.

it's been 10 day after the end of my misery.

i can't wait, looking forward to loads of meetups, movies, shopping, yummy food, hit the beach, check out Vivocity thoroughly again, stayhome, indulge in rented dvds with chips and icecream, and trips with the man.

i wanna get a holiday job that spans 8am-3pm so that i'll have the time and the freedom for more activities. AND! some things exciting are going to happen but for now i'll just hafta go hush-hush.

i swear, everytime i go head out, i pinned up my hair about 6 times. And after each time, i let it down again because I needed something to compare it to. And then each time i let it down the ends got curlier, and i couldn't decide whether it was a good thing or bad thing.

so i trot down to serangoon north avenue 2 for a much procrastinated haircut. and now, i cant even tie my hair up. it's so layered i think i look like a boy.

Argh, to be woman.

my head's thumping, my throat feels as though there are fishbones stuck in it. i really should be staying at home but i'm gonna meet sam for an art exhibition. sounds pretty interesting but i'll have to wait for another hour before his wakeboarding session ends.

2007-05-08T22:56:00.000+08:00

half-priced waffles, tom yam soup and pineapple rice, we were stuffed but blissful.

2007-04-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

so my family and i went to have korean barbecue for dinner - sizzling slices of ox tongue. Deep red and wafer thin. And succulent, fatty pork belly strips, cooked to a divine dripping crisp. It was heaven. It was rapturous. It was the sweet, sweeeeeeet nectar of saturated fat.

i'm horrified, i've gained a larger tummy.

on another note.

it's over. this chapter is finally closed.

thank you for believing. i wouldn't have made it without you.

thank you. merci beaucoup.

see you tomorrow for a bigger woohoo.

i love you, we did it.

then it's the mad mad rush for the exams. all other years were bad but this year seems to be the worst. me losing focus on school is one thing but the thought that i have to go through another year of this rubbish struck me and i was on the verge of tears.

school threatens my sanity.

sunday

2007-04-28T08:04:00.000+08:00

to a dear friend i hold close to my heart,

i hope to see you this sunday.

POTO

2007-04-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

poto.

we're gonna play dress up.

patchwork

2007-04-24T14:30:00.000+08:00

however, as optimistic as i think i am, there is a small part of me that is
afraid of the prospect of picking up the pieces and doing patchwork on my heart again.

salsa

2007-04-20T09:11:00.000+08:00

everyone promises you happily ever after, but life turns into a different kind of fairy tale.

so now, i feel like i'm dancing the salsa,

for every one step i take forward, sub-consciously take two back.

goodnights and goodbyes

2007-04-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

looked like an idiot bopping to justin timberlakes, while skipping home in the windy neighbourhood tonight.

for the past two days he made breakfast for himself and me. a steaming hot cup of milo with less sugar, 2 eggs (with the yolks a little runny) and 2 slices of toast... and I am in heaven.

by 11am, we decide what we're going to do for the rest of the day

for those who were wondering if everything was fine, yes, everything is good.

to my dearest jillene tan jun hua,

life definitely won't be the same without you around

to share gossip and a cigarette.

i'm missing you already. ):

you and kat are the first two people and i really really really mean first two, when i made up my mind. the friendship we painstakingly knit together, i find so hard to let go.

goodnights and goodbyes. we sing it's just goodnight and not goodbye. i doubt i will ever find anyone who could make me laugh more. no matter where you are, remember that i always carry your heart in mine.

2007-04-12T08:07:00.000+08:00

Did you ever stick your arms out and spin and spin and spin?

Well, that's what love is like.

dear God

2007-04-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just wanna run away. but i find myself going back and trying again.

LORD you taught me how to love.

please teach me how to forget. to let go.

to empty the heart and start anew.

Amen.

awk

2007-04-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

i hope wednesday wouldn't be as wierd as what we had today.

there are times when I feel that you're lying to me, but because I love you, I will never call your bluff.

why did the all the laughter with a capital "HAHAHA" and EX!CLA!MATION marks end up with awkward pauses in between every statement?

i thought that was rather sad.

2007-03-31T14:22:00.000+08:00

i didn't get enough sleep and im feeling damn edgy now! and i'm feeling most irritable today and small tiny things will piss me off if i gotta deal with them.

this entry is so half fucked.

whee

2007-03-27T01:53:00.000+08:00

next up in my calender is a one month (hopefully shorter) study month for the upcoming exams in may. mugging for a series of really tough modules yano. followed by 2 family bonding weeks in china. and the long anticipated trip to melbourne. so come find me if you're a good friend, if i'm feeling good i might just head to perth even for a few days.

okay so i am on my first page of my ibm notes now. usually qualitative papers are really fun for me. i know i sound like some geek but its true because i have always loved reading, even if its about non-fiction. but the reason for my frustration is simply because i just spent the last few months doing nothing and having so much fun. and one month later its the exams and im not sure how im going to find time to study for it. major fuckeroonies to that because i don't even know what's important and what's not yet. i know im going really screwed for my marketing papers. struggling to read on because i am so distracted by useless things such as blogging and blog surfing and all that shit

the past two days i've been sleeping at six in the morning. friday was spent with jill and kenneth. and a long time no see andre bally. 3 hours of shisha and cards. and you know what? a 25minute session of shisha intoxicates you with 70% more nicotine than a 10minute cigarette session would. so there's no point in quitting cigarettes for better health because all that nicotine comes from somewhere else. but still quit la, to save your health.

there were many reasons to stay home and i do have exams starting next month and truth be told, i am not at all prepared for it. but a church friend by the name of gina called to meet up on saturday,i guess all the above reasons kinda flew out the window and i decided in a split second to head down to TM after i deliberately missed my stop at kembangan. it turned out to be a sweet deal because i met samuel and larry there. so saturday was then spent playing cards and drinking red wine at sam's place. for me, i was fed happy with the usual doses of daidi, indianpoker and pointtoyournose heartattack and reverse seven-clap. i like.

that's bad.

i went to church on sunday and met sam again. actually, i met everyone there and everybody seems to know somebody from church.

shit i typed this bloody long entry in like minutes.

see la do the bloody term paper also never do so fast

time of the year

2007-03-20T20:18:00.000+08:00

it's the time of the year!!

okay quite apparently my papers next month is the last thing on my mind at present.

2007-03-19T14:09:00.000+08:00

i wish i had the courage to tell you so many things, like, you make me want to be a better person,or that if i had to make a choice from the start, it wouldn't be that hard,because i know i'd definitely choose you all over again.

i kept telling everyone the past is gone, but me, i'm really scared. i'm scared of everything. i'm scared of what i saw, i'm scared of what i did, of who i am, and most of all i'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way i feel when i'm with you.

that being said, this season, i pray my child-like faith will unceasingly carry me through all odds.

i think God is really amazing. if not for him, i wouldn't be where i am now. everything i have experienced with God has made me stronger and has moulded me into who i am today. i'm sure i have many more fights ahead of me, and still much to learn and discover.

i'm not sure how it happened. i woke up this morning and *DING* it felt like someone gave me an injection of happy drugs and a million dollars. the sundayschool kids have been fantastic these last few weeks. The weather sparkling. stuff happening in church. i think it's because church has been taking my mind off caleb and enriching my life. i'm feeling sooOOOooo good. easter party coming right up. this year, my little cousins are all gonna be there. and therefore makes this easter extremely special!

i could be happy with you. i am happy with just you. but yes i must remember to count my blessings.

heart shaped box

2007-03-17T01:34:00.001+08:00

this rocked socks.

spooked me silly.

bitchfit

2007-03-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

I'm so upset right now, i can't help but do up another entry!

you know what? so what if i go into stone mode every 10 minutes, with eyelids half shut and mouth open? so what if i look retarded whenever i do that? so effing what!. you know, so what ok!.

did you take a step back to ask yourself if what you were doing was acceptable? you said we were good friends and then you come up with the meanest things. contradictions piled up till it's saturation point.

your sugar coated words can go to the dogs.

take it or leave it

2007-03-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

I'm not sleepy yet but i know i'm gonna coma very soon.

I know many of my friends are now reading my blog.

But just because you read my blog, doesn't give you the chance to put me under the eye of scrutiny. and you think you know everything about me? oh c'mon not even close.

And when i have nothing else but history, you judge me like you knew me since a long way back!

Pardon me if this doesn't make sense,I'm writing this with half of my brain asleep.

I had a crap day, in fact it's so bad i don't wanna talk about it.

And then, here i'm bawling my eyes out in an uncontrollable torrent of snot and salty fluids. too often, i get caught up by people's opinions of me but am i really to be blamed? it is easy to say we shouldn't bother because we are what we think of ourselves to be. but it's an uphill task because everywhere we go, the only constant that surrounds us are people. and the human nature is viscious like that. we judge and we comment and this will never change through space or time.

For the first time in a long time, i hope that this post will be an assurance to the ones, who really matter to me and who have,namely mel and cheryl for themselves, witnessed the one-woman act i performed.

I do apologise to the new people i have met during this awkward phase of my life, if you do stick around, perhaps i could awaken your knowledge to who i am, then you can decide if you'd really like to stick around or not.

I believe in fighting for what you believe in, saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. i know, i've been going on about looking like a certain someone, holding same characteristics, the same emotional traumas we've been through and even thinking of the same thing at the same time. but i'm not her!

I really do mean it when i think that we are alike, and i really love her alot alot too. but some things like chalk and cheese, you just can't lump everything together, thinking they're all the same. and the fact is, you were barely even close to close, to the both of us. i think you must have looked like an idiot when you went around telling your friends about me. and you dare come tell me straight in the face that you love me and i'm one of your favourite friend? for this friend that is like my twin, i like her, because unlike you, she's the honest straight shooter.

For the friend that's like glue that has kept me together, i like her, meltan, because unlike you, she's the most loyal friend that i have known. since the day we met, she has showered me with her unconditional love and support. i must say, she is one in a million-billion-trillion, because no one understands me better.

And for the friend that has kept me company till 4am on fridays or saturdays and also sundays, i like her jilltan and also katleow, because they bring a light into the lives of every person they meet simply by being their chirpy selves.

It took me great effort to fight back the temptation to spit at your face.

Honestly feel as if im on an emotional see-saw for the past few hours. first i came back from church, feeling quite nothing-nothing as if i just got onto the see-saw. then i went all the way up a couple of hours ago because of THE NEWS. now im all the way back down on the see-saw becausei have an outlet for me to release this myraid of emotions.

And also i have very reassuring friends. yes i must remember to count my blessings, because i will be keeping these people for good.

I hope the following days would be easier to get by!

hiatus

2007-03-08T12:53:00.000+08:00

pardon me for the one month hiatus.

this is korea. look at its myriad of colours.

the guide.

mum. and snowhite?

dad and brother.

VAInarcissitic.

home

2007-02-13T12:50:00.000+08:00

This was your message to me when i was out till wee hours last saturday.
And now that i read it again, it still never fails to put a grin on my face

"Protege:1.40,2.40 what time are you coming home! don't stay out too late cos i wanna go out too." "okay be safe."

Have I ever told you how proud I am to have you as my brother, because I am.
Every time you talk to me about your DJ, I am filled with awe.
You, by just simply being yourself

I hope you have a fantastic birthday. I love you. (:

Goodness, the older you get means the older I get,
This year, you'll be hitting the big two-zero. Sigh. Woe is me. (;

"This is my family, I found it all on my own. Is little and broken, but still good."

- Lilo & Stitch

lovethings

2007-02-06T19:53:00.000+08:00

Your Love Type: ENTJ

The Executive
In love, you seek relationships that you can grow and learn from.For you, sex should always be exciting and experimental.
Overall, you are bright, energetic, and helpful.However, you tend to be challenging and confrontational.
Best matches: INTP and ISTP

What's" Your Love Type?

got this off emily's.

to emily, sex experience is very spiritual.

"simi" spiritual?? you doing yoga sex issit?

but yoga sex sounds damn erotic hor!!

mustafa

2007-02-05T09:11:00.000+08:00

I am suffering from a insuppressible eating disorder. not only do i snack alot between meals, my insane craving for buffets kicks in everyday. I am positive of severe weight gain.

Last night was dinner at eunos. We decided to grab some coffee at Bucksparkway and spend time alone with ourselves. quotes: "LS, your laosai and your laosai", "i don't eat food out from a box ", "you know your daughter how rude or not!". We couldn't have enough, so we found ourselves at 85 for ngoh hiang, carrotcake and otah. Not forgetting my daily dosage of teh-si-peng and their 2 glasses of sugarcane with lemon.

It almost felt like good old days back in school, the 3 of us huddled in her room, in awe of kat's adidas collection, her abercrombie, her red puma and that neon coloured chinabag.

jillene said "yesterday my friends came into my room and they said , wah your room TORneDOR ar?" i think kat's room is worse two thousand times. "It's not retro lor, its childish room, why you choose this color"

To describe the past couple of weeks to be "made in india" cannot be more apt. Breathing the "AN", has become a must on a daily basis or suffer from an onset of morning sinus. The "AN" smell can be quite overwhelming but i learn to deal with it. So yes, it was Mustafa till wee morning. running around the floors and throwing every cheap seventypercent dark chocolate into the basket, blackmagic biscuits, baking stuff, microwaveable cheeese franks and what not. everything in because, so cheap. they weren't even made in india. some in brazil, many in new zealand.

(I like shopping, like supermarket shopping. i like NTUCgardens. I also go first thing early morning with grandma. So that I'm first in line to get a clean supermarket trolley - a super specky shiny one with clean baby foldables, no crap smudged between the bars, no rusty twisted bits of metal sticking out, and with all four wheels that move in the SAME DIRECTION. There's nothing more I hate in this world than trying to push a bashed and broken shopping trolley.)

Armed with all good things chocolatey sweet and buttery, we stood around and chatted.

The night ended with "Chang ge for Ge Chang to ting" and "It's not funny ar, i'm going home i don't care.

Oh ya and also "i don't like her, i call her OILY." said little mean katherine.

It really isn't that big a deal, but i don't really care as long as i had fun, they of all people are usually the ones to make my day at least abit better.

vienna and i

2007-02-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

Febuary has stealthily crept its way in.

It's not everyday that we find time to sit ourselves down doing what we love doing

It was my first visit to vienna united square.
crystal lights and family packed tables
camera flashes
3 girls
short bangs
1 potts
and food aplenty

With time to spare, we decided to rest our tired legs and do some catching up.
That was nice.
We said our goodbyes and headed back home.

But the night didn't end there

Nothing beats good old banana prata
And teh si peng

the holiday

2007-01-29T22:34:00.000+08:00

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Iris (Kate Winslet), The Holiday

backpay

2007-01-27T13:58:00.000+08:00

just when i thought i have to survive on bread and butter for the next few days before it hits febuary....

jarrod dropped me a message to tell me that i still have a cheque with Gjs.

backpay!!! shiok yeah.

cheryl's biggo 21st later.
peeeeektures up when i'm back.

gay friend or not

2007-01-19T11:36:00.000+08:00

i cant help but to agree more with emily and her last entry on the blog.

there aren't many guys whom i can actually talk girl talk with. i mean, you know, school, friends, pms, hair, make up, dating, sex, and whatnot.

according to experience, i seriously suspect that there is a universal handbook for men, which dictates "you so sad for what?" "screw it lah" "relax lor" for replies to girls in distress.

it's exasperating!

last night was the steamboat and dessert at bugis. never knew this wierd mix of friends could actually lead to a whole lot of laughter and a little bit of tongue wag. followed by a crazy drive through AMK in search of a particular house. Imagine that. me with my rotund tummy tucked under the steering wheel, risking getting my car crashed with every passing vehicle.

i have launched an attack on oreos early morning. i have since gobbled down 4 mcvities and 5 oreos, soaked in milk and eaten whole. heaps of "xiao man tou, wan zhai" and now, contemplating if i should reach for that kinderbueno just lying next to my phone. i won't hesitate on other days, but after hearing emily said that i became smaller, i really wanna stay this way.

i miss that girl so much.

"su ying, su ying! wo hen xiang ni ah"

i've decided to give butter factory a shot tonight, i hope it's worth all that rave.

off to lunch at grandma's! toodles.

knit for love

2007-01-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

mummy and i signed up for a knitting course this morning. i'm very excited for class to start.

recently installed a new version of internet explorer, a few days back. It couldn't start and hangs the entire comp everytime i open it. somehow, today it miraculously got better and started working out pretty fine. well, that should explain my week odd hiatus.

except for a couple of smses i received, this week has been marvellous thus far and i hope the remaining of it will be just as great.

i never believed the female pursuit of mr. right, should go this way, to mr. almost-right & ultimately settling for mr. anything . why should it be? in the span of 28 minutes on my mobile, i went from incomprehension to anger then euphoric.

wanna lomanteek?

well then, give me a good enough reason to.

lomanteek lomanteek

2007-01-09T19:38:00.000+08:00

do you believe in love at first sight?

or do i have to walk past again?

it's still you

2007-01-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

"you know you very handsome or not " "and, babe, happy new year"

stupid factories

2006-12-31T04:50:00.000+08:00

stupid factory.

where boys are made.

toothache

2006-12-28T11:09:00.002+08:00

the past week has been pretty eventful. sweeet.

This weekend, my insane cooking mojo was back.

I end up buying waaaayy too many vegetables. Yes lotsa salads. I’m soooOo over vegetables now. Somebody give me a slice of cow and some deep fried chicken please.

"the art of flirting" well, it only goes to show that men of all ages, single or married, have yunno, tendencies.

Bastards.

toothache

2006-12-28T11:09:00.001+08:00

shanghai baybee

2006-12-21T08:43:00.000+08:00

these are the long overdue "cheena piang" shanghai/xiamen peektures.

it's basically lotsa sight seeing.

followed by a series of non stop "see(sea) food, eat food"

that's grandma. the one in pink that is.

It's not everyday that we find time to sit ourselves down, doing what we love doing.

and grandpa! very good food huh. is that why you are looking like cheshire cat?

i ate myself stupid.

i miss everything.

happyhoppity good

2006-12-17T05:13:00.001+08:00

whatever i was feeling at that point,

it must have been damn good.

alot like christmas

2006-12-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

it's beginning to feel alot like christmas baybeeee!

Christmas Wishlist 2006

2006-12-13T14:27:00.000+08:00

Christmas Wishlist 2006

fun time with loves

and a happy family

build me up butter cup

2006-12-06T00:25:00.000+08:00

see food sunday. airport monday. stay over today. i'm giving zoukout a miss this year. according to the grapevine it's gonna be spanking gooooooooood. anyhow i got home just now to find some lovely digestive biscuits perched on the kitchen top. after transferring them to an air-tight container, me and my cousin lumbered upstairs to dip them in cold cold milk as part of my nightie-munchie practice. only to find myself keen on repeating the process next morning. think i'm quite hooked on McVities Digestive.

no one's asked you to do anything. so why the hell are you feeling this way? no one owes you anything either. it's a favour not a debt.

no thank you. it's enough

magicians of love

2006-11-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

and now i have this! trigger happy.

i like him even more now. because he's more like a real human being here as compared to the frog prince which was basically a tad bit emotionless. over here, he has his ups and downs. little quirky and embarassing bits. and still very very cool you know. I say a real human being because, no matter how handsome you look, and how cool you play it, you are bound to have your embarassing moments right? and that's him here. less perfect and much more realistic.

so what if he's from this very uncool and stupid pop band called 183 club? i've heard their songs. dumb lyrics and loads awful singing. and so what if he cannot speak english properly? i still like leh.

obsession.

itchy itchy huh

2006-11-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

I'm home from that horrible horrible place called mount ophir. i would seriously rather bathe in river water than to use their toilets over there. So many "ka ka"! Horrible.

The climb was relatively okay compared to the previous one at berkelah, but most would like think otherwise. Up and Up we go.

The view up there was paranomic. It was such a waste that i didnt bother taking any photos. too tired too lazy. and also, 15minutes after we've got to the summit, the rain clouds started crowding at the top of our heads.

So one thing led to another. But it was definitely a kicker. 13 hours later, we found ourselves back at the base camp. all them weak knees and trembling legs.

Scrubbed myself clean, plomped myself on the bed. Sipping on hot chocolate and munching them marie biscuits. It's just so nice to be home.

Last counted 7 bruises, 5 bright pink scratches, 4 aching limbs, 2 sleepy eyes.

and 1 insect bite.

itchy itchy HUh!

meh tew lin

2006-11-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

do you not already know

i am a chicken pie auntie?

bess fwen leh

2006-11-15T00:56:00.001+08:00

this one my bess fwen. my bess fwen come home.

to you with love

2006-11-11T05:48:00.000+08:00

I know I've caused you alot of pain. but the funny thing is, all i ever wanted to do is make you happy.

nee hon boys

2006-11-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

i mean, look at him. he looks so exotic?

I know, I know, you people are gonna start telling me how ugly he is. and how bad my taste can be.

it's ok suckers.

i'll tell him to marry me then! cause inter-racial breeding is the key to looking good.

Godivas from weng! 85% goodness 15% love. you better tell me it's the other way around.

you are such a sweetheart you know that?

kenichi matsuyama i heart'o' you!

arigato.

Pfft!

2006-11-07T09:39:00.000+08:00

I've already had a few friends and family members ask me what I want for Christmas. Argh! It's still NOVEMBER! Damn you super-organised people.

2006-11-05T18:46:00.000+08:00

Is there a place in this world, where it is okay to day dream?

the boy that cried wolf

2006-11-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

I know we should allow everyone to begin on a clean sheet and to never judge someone from her past.

But i also believe there are certain ghosts in us that will never cease to exist and will always be within us. i guess who we were, sort of represents who we are, and what people will perceive us to be.

Somethings just never change.

You are that boy.

who cried wolf.

death note

2006-11-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

mel my darling baby, let me share with you what you have been missing on. I just came back from watching Death Note. It is an adaptation from a manga that was said to be the one of the best selling ones in Japan.

This movie centres around this high school kid by the name of Light that wants to rid the world of evil by supernatural sources. So Light writes names onto this note and criminals after criminals started dying of heart attacks and what nots.

So all these unexplainable deaths drew attention from the police organisation and also this mysterious detective known as "L"

Both L and Light are equally smart!

Later in the show, L reveals himself. And he seems like some normal teenager that's addicted to sugary food.

He's so cute! and quirky. He sits in a particular position, always snacking on sweets and his disheveled hair.

Right after revealing himself, I knew his intelligence exceeds that of Light! L is a genius. SO clever!

Anyway there's a sequel coming up! and i can't wait to catch it. hopefully it comes out before you go back to melb.

So i came back and sat at the comp, started all my internet research on the movie. Do you know the sequel is already showing in Japan!and we are only on the first. Trailer shows that L falls in love in the sequel. It's so sweet but you know that he's falling for the wrong girl. i cannot help but feel a little sourish about it. The Death Note falls in the hands of someone new. and Light joins L in cracking the case. So we'll wait and see. The battle to prove mental superiority between the both of them begins when the sequel is out.

Everything in the official website is in Jap! How can i find out more about you when i don't even have your name!

The sequel's called Death Note: The Last Name.
The "L"ast Name?

why do i get the feeling that you are gonna die?

death note

2006-11-01T23:21:00.001+08:00

L, please go away.

and stop mindfucking me!

bang'yay'cock

2006-11-01T00:16:00.000+08:00

It's taking a million years to upload the bangcock pics. If you are really really reeeeAaally interested (in other words, kaypoh) in viewing the rest of them. do text me!

sunday school rocks my socks.

2006-10-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

The usual. Did sunday school. I hoofed over to church with mum early morning.

Church has always been a lovely place since i sorta grew up in sunday school as well. but church has small classrooms. Small children and small spaces? Disasters befall on us teachers without fail as always. But today, my boys surprised me.

They were all so well behaved. like little angels.

Mel, remember handsome Joshua? i made him narrate a story today. I can't say he enjoyed it. He participated and followed instructions when told to, without kicking up a fuss. Joshua's not like any p2 kid. He plays soccer with his friend below his condo till 6 am in the morning. With no parents watching over their backs. He's been to Disneyworld and tells his teacher Mae that Disneyland in L.A is boring. And then today, he demanded us to bring him and a few others out to watch open season.

J: "If you want to bring me go watch open season, must be first week of holiday. cos I'm going Japan"

Somenonimportantkid: " So you going Japan Disneyland?"

J: "No, I'm just going Japan just to eat sashimi only"

J "I went to DisneyWorld before already"

I happily went "Me too! I went to the one in L.A"

"DisneyLand is not even DisneyWorld" He growled and waved his hand in my face. "DisneyWorld so Big, DisneyLand so boring"

I squeaked, "erm Ok..."

After one year, I am still so very infatuated with him. So infatuated i wish i could be 8 too. or that i could stay at this age till he turns 21. A boy that travels oh so often! I like.

He's just so intelligent. At least for an 8 year old. And for one i cannot stand stupidity.

Joshua's mischievious, but ain't naughty. You know how some kids can be irritatingly naughty. Like Clarence. Omgawd. He's a terror! He went to squeezed another boy's balls like really hard. And that boy came over to me and started sobbing. How to handle things like that you tell me?!!?!!!

I went to tell that Clarence off. And you know what? That little bugger insisted Bryant Wang instigated him to do it. So i had to questioned Bryant as well. I gave up. Cause fingers started pointing everywhere. Handed them over to Elsie.

The boys are moving up to p3 next year. Why are they growing up so fast!

Note to self: I need more "Joshuas" in the house or I'm going cry.

Cause Most of Us Don't Have Moustache

2006-10-27T14:22:00.000+08:00

this is so entertaining. Gabriel showed it me a few days back and i couldnt stop laughing.

you know, if only school was this fun.

Friends

2006-10-26T11:18:00.000+08:00

It's true, as you grow older, you realise your real friends only boil down to a very select few.

wenling, i'm just glad that after so long, we still always have something to talk about, something to catch up on, and that we never judge nor blindly agree. I appreciate honesty in friends.

Friends. So important, yet they come and go so easily. It's like, why bother with those who treat you bad? I know who I have, and I trust them. I'm thankful for that. My tolerance for a lot of people is increasing, but my aptitude for caring and bothering decreasing...cause most don't matter. Childish fucks can just get lost seriously.

Hurry Lah Ya

2006-10-25T00:06:00.001+08:00

i guess, work's a nice place to be at now because jarrod and janice are like close friends. we talk about everything. talk about boys, girls, life, work, friends. blah blah blah blah blah.

you know, just being with jarrod and janice makes me wanna fall in love. they want to how sweet? damn sweet lah. it's how comfortable they are being around each other. knowing what each other is thinking and their behaviour even without asking. like telepathy right?? they are so interesting lah. and funny.

oh yes. i met this person that i havent met for the longest time. was busy walking all over the store, and from the side of my eye i saw this familiar figure staring and grinning at me. Nelson Tan! i havent seen him like for how long? for ages. still so nice, still so sayang me. i miss talking to him. so tonight, i was having like a verbal diarroeah. i went on and on and on and on and on. i didn't even let him have the chance to butt in lah.

N: "why talk so much tonight huh?"

because i miss you lah!

on another note. endli's going on a trip. a short trip to bintan. with the fishes. she's always doing such horrible things to me lah. just to name one. she left me all alone during a particular steamboat session with a group of people i hardly know. i went down just to accompany you ok. ingrate.wanna play revenge with me right? for being late. think i don't know only.

i want to cry.

with such a situation at hand, are you sure you wanna leave me all alone for ibm class? can you don't do this to me or not. can you not go!

i miss you

2006-10-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

Oh i wish you were here, why aren't you aware of that, because you are one of those i will truly love for life.

i'm fine baby, how are you?

steamboat recce

2006-10-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

adventure jamboree.

sounds very cool huh.

SIM odac is in charge of hosting the event this year. from game planning,to logistics, right down to fornightly meetings, i'm involved. and proud to say i'm very commited to it as well.

don't be surprised meltan, because i...miss Mae Sia is part of the commitee.

well, just yesterday me and wenling, together with our team recced sentosa for locations to hold our games. discussion of various games lasted all the way till 11.

then today, we met up with the odac people again for a steamboat session.

I would say, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would.

The seniors (who are actually in fact my batch) make the effort to make us feel at ease, to try their best to include us in their conversations. It was really heartwarming to see people going the extra mile for you. U know they see each other so often it is no wonder everyone is so close. The bond is tight but there's still space for new friends to fit into the circle. The atmosphere is ever so welcoming. That's what makes me wanna stay on and go for all the trips they are gonna organise.

Meltan. before you are here in hazey island singapore on the 16th. i would have been to mount ophir and back.

I really cant wait for you to come back home. Best friend! come home and tell me stories.

by the way have you played reversi before?

sang nila utama

2006-10-21T15:26:00.000+08:00

ok hit it!

haha. so cute.

scuba

2006-10-20T10:38:00.000+08:00

K: "you really should stop blowing bubbles on land and come down
into the water for some real action lah".

M: "kenneth, why the website show photos of the divers only!!!"

M: "why no marine life at all?"

K: "walau, wanna see marine life, go diving!! see what photo"

Kenneth is talking sense. For once. and for once, i am actually agreeing with him. But mind you kenneth, not everyone has the privilege of getting his open water liscense at the age of 17 and his DM at 20 ok.

and stop tempting me to squeeze myself into the next diving trip. which is like what. next weekend? my mum will get a heart attack, first bangkok, now this??? no way. It's nearing monsoon season at that time anyway. i won't be enjoying myself like i would if that's the case right? Feb07 would probably be a better time, ample time to go for lessons, lotsa and lotsa warm yellow sunshine and a longer period to work my way to a nicer body. before hitting those waves.

*sigh*

Self comforting never felt that good.

disgusted

2006-10-20T10:09:00.000+08:00

i get tempted to spit your face whenever i hear about the comments you make on every single individual you deem friend, about how enthusiastic you are on picking up a new skill, about the principles supposedly born in you.

you think you play the game very well huh?

guess what?

everyone's laughing at you.

public affair

2006-10-19T11:04:00.000+08:00

I'm going public.

Guess Who?

2006-10-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

Meltan. I dunno why you can't tag. But i'm very tired just fiddling around with it. So, i shall do it tomorrow.

You know what?

I saw Tay Ping Hui at work yesterday!! I was doing the usual stuff, standing at the cashier joking and crapping around with this regular. and a group of people came by. so i gave a quick look and i saw Jeff Wang. Not much of a good impression, i continued talking to my customer. I don't know why but i stole second glance at them and guess who was walking right past my cashier counter. No prizes for getting it right. It's Tay Ping Hui. He gave me a smile and that totally made my day i tell you.

You know how difficult it is or not? To keep a straight face? I wanted to so badly flash him back a megawatt smile. I was torn between greeting him with a chirpy good morning and pretending like it's no biggie. I chose the latter. I got back to doing what i do best. playing it cool. way too cool.

Alittle taken aback. i kept quiet for a few seconds.

And after that,

I couldn't stop harping about it. So me and janice just bummed around the store and talked about our celebrity encounters. She did mass comm in NP, She wrote for a fashion magazine, She was doing all that cool stuff before taking a break and coming to Gloria Jeans. So of course her encounters are impressive!

Up till now, i can't help but gush about how good he looks. His nice physique. His.... did i look too grouchy? It was 9am early morning. Why didn't he stop by for coffee?

Mae! get a grip.

Meltan, Envy boh?

Oh, how i love my work.

I wish for a couple of Million

2006-10-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

eluxury says the LV is currently out of stock.

It was only 5 minutes.

H to the Hazey

2006-10-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

Not so fun fact: Asthma relapsed

Was on my way to get the usual curry puff when my chest tightened out of a sudden. and i couldn't even breathe after that. seriously, i know panicking and crying will just make breathing even more difficult. but i can't help it! i haven't suffered any attacks since the age of 13. In fact, even hardly before that.

Last checked, the PSI was 150. because the wind directions has changed against Singapore's favour. The air smells foul every morning when i leave the house at 6 for work and the sky's gloomy all day. It's not a nice hazey feeling. It's the kinda haze that makes your eyes itch the whole day, that makes you feel as though you are choking on burning incense, that kind that makes the whole environment so stuffy and humid. that kind that induces puke. yuck. that nauseating feeling.

Fun Fact: BKK? Rock'on

I'm flying to Bangkok in exactly a week's time! Together with friends i've known for 8 years. 8 years and still counting. Yessa! I can't wait to shop. I've already set an extra duffle bag aside for all the shopping. But now i think i need one more. I can already imagine the 3 of us screaming "walau so cheap ar! Buy lar!" This is so exciting. Shopping keeps the energy level and the endorphine level up up up. Those happy hormones. That nice adrenaline rush. Just thinking of it gets me high.

Not so Fun Fact: Where's Mel?

Best friend Meltan won't be going on this trip with us. Yes, we are leaving without you.
But i promise this is the only trip you are gonna miss cos we've got a whole life time to travel the world together.

Come on babe. Admit this. we are gonna be old grannies together. Botoxed. Alright. now hush hush about this.

Damn Random:

As i'm finishing up this entry, Andre was showing me this online webbie called the eluxury. This LV wallet. omgawd. it's a whopping 920bucks. This DKNY shoes. Tsk. No money for such extravagance.

One buffet, Two mooncakes and a Bundle of Love

2006-10-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

It's probably true i used to blog about the most depressing thoughts but lately, i think being happy is much easier.

Just now, as the whole family bond and mingled together, it suddenly dawned onto me that everyone has started to speak in a different manner. The cousins that i used to run around in underwear with, can actually hold proper conversations that lasted for hours with that particular family friend. The baby boy who usually comes to me for hugs and kisses, now shys away.

Over the table, i silently watched my grandma have her dinner. Looking at her really breaks my heart. The way she handled her food and hovered around the buffet area. The way she struggled towards all her little grandchildren, making sure everyone of us had more than enough to eat. And then i saw grandpa look at her with a smile, passing over a stick of cigarette so that they both can take a break from all the hustle.

At that moment, i knew they have gone full cycle. Being the eldest grandchild, i was there to witness them enter their greying phase. And now, i'm afraid. I'm afraid to lose anyone. again. I don't wanna feel that sense of regret again. I don't wanna feel that i haven't done enough. I don't wanna feel like i didn't cherish what i had. I'm afraid of grandma growing any older. I wanna be there all the way. Just like how she, like a mother has been there for me.

I hope i will be able to do the same for my parents and for her. To hold their hands like they used to hold mine. To teach them words they taught me when they have forgotten. To never be too many steps behind just in case they fall. To share with them the love they have given me. unconditionally.

It's not working anymore.

2006-08-29T00:41:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry but tonight just triggered a myriad of emotions. I don't know how else to vent my frustration so i'm just going to vomit everything out here.

Days back.

I cannot stand it when you tell someone something and the whole world knows. If i wanted the world to know, I would have gotten myself a loud-hailer, not a friend.

My point is, there are many ways to justify yourself. I admit I was irresponsible on my part. But seriously, is there a need to use such harsh tones and bad notes. Some may call it easy-going but he-who-knows better knows it's simply plain rudeness and low down sarcasm. Afterall, we did have supper after work and our own fair share of fun.

Well, human nature think too highly of themselves.

Now.

i'm gonna crawl back into my sheets with hope that the following days will be easier to get by. Funny how a day can sometimes seem longer than a week.

back to good old days.

2006-08-09T18:56:00.000+08:00

A wave of nostalgia hit me and since, all i could think of was you. For the good times and the bad times we had.

I guess for the past one year, all I did about you was to put you at the back of my head. The things I tried so hard to put behind are now resurfacing to eat me alive. I need an outlet, I can die without one. This is what this is for. Something for me to pen down my thoughts.

Somehow, I know I've survived a train wreck, alive, strong and more loved. But still, I'm stuck right here in memory lane. Everything seems to have come to a stand still, I'm living in a world of my own. oblivious. Everything is strangely familiar. I've done this before. Oh yes, with you.

All in all, I'm moving.
If I can do this whole thing, i can do anything better.